Rice

Posted on November 4, 2009 by Jesse O'Brien in On the Road

courtesy of ~anuradha

“Rice Racer” or “Rice Burner” is a commonly-used derogatory term for automobiles. I consider RICE to be an anagram for “Race Inspired Cosmetic Enhancements“. If you toss a body kit on your car for purely cosmetic reasons, it’s likely that you suffer from Rice. It’s an epidemic. There are varying degrees of rice, and some aspects are open for interpretation. Clear corner lights and altezza headlight/taillight combos are common disputes on automotive forums.

This car is essentially the epitome of rice racer. It has a massive fart can, is lowered too much, the wheels are too tall and not wide enough for the car, the body kit scrapes the ground on turns, the paint job cost more than the car, and the driver has no idea what he’s doing (throttle control would be a good thing):

Now, I don’t have a problem with making a car look terrible and not gaining performance. What bothers me is the fact that many “rice” modifications are actually dangerous.

My own CRX had clear corners, clear bumper lights, a nasty hairball of stereo wiring, a red-themed engine bay, and cut springs that didn’t fill the strut perches. My big issue is the cut springs. Everything else is physically harmless, but incorrectly cut springs destroy the travel of the car’s suspension, making it skittish and unpredictable. If the car were to go over a bump at a speed high enough to decompress the spring, it could easily wiggle off its perch and suddenly one corner of the car has no suspension. Also, the camber wear on the tires was bordering suicide, especially because the tire would regularly rub against the inner fender well. All around, a horrible idea for any car.

Rice Cop has a wide selection of tickets with the intention that you will print them out and distribute them as needed. Some of the user tickets are especially creative, and you’re encouraged to create and submit your own as well.

Unfortunately, this seems to be an incurable disease. Try not to make fun of them too much, but instead educate them on how cars actually work. If they want a car that looks fast, at least give it the ability to go fast, and don’t endanger everyone else on the road while doing it.

Tags: California